Every night it's the same story. "Time for bed." Don't want to go to bed. "Come on. Get those pull-ups on. Alright, you really do want to stay home instead of going to play with your friends, don't you." No way! Want to play. "Then get ready for bed." Cry; sniffle; I had a bad dream; there's a monster in the closet; Taylor's talking; Brooklyn's talking; Brooklyn hit me; Taylor's scaring me; Don't close the door. "OK, mom. Dad's asleep. We can watch the Munsters now!"

Primary kid's ambition: Learning to open the refrigerator door real slow so we can sneak juice boxes out before dinner.

Primary kid's question: How big a house do we need to store all the neat, useless toys that our relatives give us?

Kid's thought for the day: Dad still thinks we don't know that the furry stuff in the lawn is really dog poop. Quick, open the refrigerator...